Can you “fake it ’til you make it” in life? What about your career?
Fake it ’til you make it is a practice that suggests you act “as if” something is true until it is true.
The idea of fake it ’til you make it is similar to positive affirmations. You repeat a positive message or statement, giving that idea your attention and intention. Positive affirmations take an idea or belief and give it focus and meaning in your life.
Fake it ’til you make it is a way to encourage, motivate, and change yourself for the better.
So does it work?
Well, yes and no.
When it works to fake it ’til you make it
Fake it ’til you make it is a great practice when you’re trying to change your own attitude or behavior. Change is hard and sometimes you have to act as if you’re already changed before you actually change.
For example, let’s say you’re trying to build your confidence around a new skill. When you tell yourself, “I can do this”, you’ll believe it’s true, even if you’re still nervous or uncertain. You’ve planted a seed of confidence within you.
Next you stand up tall, holding your head high- a sure sign of confidence! Okay, maybe the butterflies in your stomach are really bats. The physical cue of standing tall moves your body and mind towards feeling confident.
Faking confidence helps you be more confident.
In another example, let’s say you want to create a new, positive habit. You want to stop complaining and be more grateful. You can absolutely fake it ’til you make it!
If you have a habit of complaining, your thought patterns are conditioned to notice and lament the negative. You do it without thinking- but this is pattern you want to change!
So you act as if you are grateful. You write a gratitude list when you’re sure it’s all a bunch of bullshit. You say “thank you” even when you aren’t feeling appreciative. You compliment a co-worker on a job well done, even when you think they could have done better and you know exactly how they can improve.
You adopt an attitude of gratitude and, in doing so, you condition yourself to notice and praise the positive. You turn your complaining habit into a thankful habit!
How do I know it works? Because I learned to get good at public speaking by telling myself “I can do this” and standing tall every time I was on stage. I stopped complaining and starting being grateful by acting grateful, even when I didn’t feel especially grateful at the start.
And it hasn’t just worked for me. It’s worked for my clients, too. Though some of them were skeptical at first, they soon found that you can change your own attitudes and behaviors by faking it ’til you make it!
When it doesn’t work to fake it ’til you make it
Fake it ’til you make it doesn’t work when you’re trying to change someone else’s attitudes or behaviors. For example, if you want other people to see you as friendly, faking friendliness usually has the opposite effect! It just doesn’t work to try to influence or control what other people think of you.
I attended an Art of Feminine Presence class and in that class the teacher instructed us to think about what quality we most want to project when in a social or networking situation. I want people to see me as approachable and friendly, but when I tried to project friendliness in class the feedback I got was not so friendly!
Trying to fake it is not an effective tool to change someone else. Well, let’s face it, there’s no method that will change someone else’s thoughts or behaviors. It’s better to keep the focus on yourself, being your best version of yourself, and being the generally awesome person you are!
Have you tried to fake it ’til you make it? When has it worked for you? When hasn’t it worked for you? Let’s start a conversation- leave your comments below!