Believing in myself is a theme that’s come up for me throughout my life. I was raised in abuse, poverty, addiction, and mental illness.
Good role models were few and far between. I was surrounded by people struggling to just barely survive, yet when I was 8 years old I made a decision that changed my life.
In that moment I decided I didn’t want the life I was given, and that I was going to create a different, better life for myself. I rejected the familial, economic, and societal limitations put on me, and I believed in myself more than I believed them.
I had plenty of self-doubt, too. Yet, somehow, I kept working, little by little, to create a better life for myself, even when there was no reason to believe it was possible for me.
Some days I still struggle to believe in myself, and yet when things get really bad, I find that sliver of hope, that belief that I can and will have something better. That belief that I can do something better. That belief that I can improve my situation on my terms, and really, that’s the only way I can create the life I want to live.
People keep trying to tell me what I can be. They tell me what to do or how to do it. I’ll go along with it for a while and then I keep coming back to the truth. I believe in myself.
Who are you listening to? Who do you believe?
You are the only one responsible for your life, and you’re the only one with the power to change your situation. You’re the only one who knows what’s possible for you, and how to make it happen.
Throughout your life you will have teachers, mentors, and advisers and their counsel will be invaluable. You’ll also have some of the wrong people who tell you what to think, feel, and believe. They will tell you what to do- don’t listen to them!
Here are the top 5 people who will misguide you.
01. The Chief Advantage Officer
This person wants you to stay right where you are- because they benefit from your position. It might be your boss, your significant other, or your friend. The chief advantage officer gets more than they give. They’re looking out for their best interests first and foremost and when it’s in their best interest they will dump you without hesitation.
02. The Mouse
The mouse means well and truly has your best interest at heart, but they are so afraid risk themselves they will advise you to keep quiet, to play small, to live a mediocre life. They might be a family member or friend. It’s hard not to listen to the mouse because you care about them and you know they care about you.
03. The Guru
The guru is knowledgeable and influential and may even help a lot of people. The problem is the guru know what’s worked for them and they assume because it worked for them it will work for you, too. They might be a boss, mentor, or coach. When it comes to the guru, take what you like and leave the rest.
04. The Know-It-All
This person has all the answers- at least they think they do. The problem is they don’t know what they’re talking about! They like to give advice to feel powerful and important, and they can be very convincing. Watch out!
05. The Codependent
The codependent is similar to the chief advantage officer in that they benefit from your relationship. Like the mouse, they may also truly care about you. The codependent benefits from feeling needed by you, and they will unconsciously keep you dependent on them.
Watch out for these 5 people in particular. They will tell you not to trust yourself. They will tell you they know better than you. They will tell you not to believe in yourself. And they are wrong. At the end of your life, don’t look back and see that you believed other people more than you believed in yourself.
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Want tips on specific ways to deal with each of these 5 personalities? I go in-depth on this in my book – check it out here!
